Arms- Christina Perri
by llamasarecooluniverse
Summary: Kyle leaves South Park at age 14 and comes back at 16, and while he's gone, Stan turns to the blade for comfort. Kyle drags Stan out of his depression and Stan realizes he can love again. -Style and cutting involved- R&R \Happy Valentine's Day!/


**I'M SO SORRY (not really) I JUST HAD TO STAHP JUDGING ME OR I WILL MESS THE HECK OUT OF YOU JEEBUS**

**"Arms"-Christina Perri**

**I don't own the song and the song goes all to Christina Perri.**

**(warning possible triggers)**

**(and evidence about gay sex because who doesn't like that?) **

* * *

_**"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart"**_

Stan didn't mind much that Cartman called him and Kyle gay. It hurt sometimes when he said it at the wrong time, but they knew it wasn't true. Stan never knew how much Kyle meant to him until he was put in the hospital after his kidneys were failing. Stan felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

It wasn't until Stan's 14th birthday party that Stan realized that his feelings were much deeper than super best friends.

_**"But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start"**_

After Kyle had to move back to New Jersey at age 14, Stan got depressed and stayed with the goths for a few months. His parents made him hang out with happier people saying that "they didn't want him to become a sorry fag" or something along those lines.

He hung around Kenny and Butters. Cartman didn't do much after Kyle left because his 'little monster' was gone. He just ate and went to school.

Then, at age 16, Stan was working at a CVS when a redhead walked in. The redhead had a green beanie covering his head but a few red pieces peeked out. The kid got a bag of pads and put them on the counter. Stan chuckled. "And what exactly are you going to do with those?"

The redhead blushed and in a familiar voice muttered, "Their for my mom." The raven haired boy looked up. "Kyle?" Kyle looked up. "Stan?" Something sparked in the teen's eyes. "Stan!" Kyle reached over and gave the boy a hug.

_**"And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go  
You put your arms around me and I'm**** home"**_

Stan blinked back tears thinking of all the times he'd cried himself to sleep. "What are you doing back?" "Dad decided that he didn't want Ike growing up around people in Jersey so we moved back." Stan nodded and pulled back. Kyle's face clouded over with confusion.

"Stan? Are you okay?" Stan ripped the money out of the Jew's hand and gave him change. "Your change is $5.78." The raven haired boy's voice cracked and he turned off the light by his station signaling that his shift was over.

It wasn't but Stan couldn't stand to see the boy so happy. Didn't he know that Stan had trouble falling asleep at nights or how many times Stan turned to a blade for comfort or how many times he couldn't eat?

"Stan! Stop!" Stanley walked into the employees back room and sat on the ground sobbing. No! How could Kyle just walk back into his life this easily? Just how easily he just walked out.

**"How**_** many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?"**_

"Stan, Jesus, what's wrong with you?" Kyle walked into the employees room and stood there. "You're not supposed to be here..." Stan whispered and wiped his eyes. "By God's sake, I'll go anywhere for you."

The red burned the raven's cheeks and he put his hands over his eyes. Kyle sat behind him and put his arms around his middle. "I thought you'd be happier I'm back." The Jew muttered into Stan's ear. Stan shivered at the Jew's warm breath.

"I'm happy but you've missed..." Stan stopped and swallowed, "so much..." Stan pulled his shirt over his wrists.

_**"I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown"**_

_14 year old Stan felt the burning water from the shower and clenched his fists. How could Kyle do this to him? It's been a week since he was alone. "Get your ass out of there, you turd!" Stan felt the rage burn under his skin. He turned off the water. He grabbed a towel and put it around his waist. _

_He opened the door and __threw a punch at his older sister. "You feelingless whore!" He yelled and ran into his room. Stanley locked the door and grabbed one of those tiny pencil sharpers. He untwisted the nail and took out the blade. _

_Four cuts along his arms. It hurt but losing Kyle hurt more. It felt like he was drowning in blood. _

_**"I hope that you see right through my walls  
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling"**_

Stan looked into Kyle's emerald eyes. God, they were beautiful. He looked Kyle in the eyes. Stan reached over and rubbed Kyle's reddening cheek softly. Stan's shirt sleeves fell off his wrist showing his scars. Kyle looked at his wrist and held it.

"I'm so sorry..." Kyle whispered and placed his lips on every scar. Stan watched Kyle with curious eyes. "I'm so sorry..." Kyle repeated tears dripping down his face. "I shouldn't have left." Stan wanted to rip his arm away from the Jew and yell 'YOU FUCKING THINK SO? I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF THREE TIMES, KYLE!'

But he kept quiet. He kept his head tilted down in shame. Kyle put his finger under Stan's chin and lift his face so they were face-to-face. Kyle looked deeply in the other boy's eyes. Then he lightly placed his lips on Stan's.

_**I'll never let a love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

Stan felt his heart jump into his throat and froze. After a few moments, Stan kissed back. Kyle smiled into the kiss and pulled back. "Do you accept my apology?" Stan looked at Kyle silently.

"Who said you needed an apology?" Stan gave Kyle a shy smile. Kyle half-smiled and pulled Stan in for another kiss. It was more passionate than the first and Stan's face was as red as Kyle's hair.

Kyle pulled back. "My brother's been waiting outside. I need to go." Kyle stood up and started to walk out when- "Kyle?" "Yeah?" "Why did you just...?"

He shrugged and before he walked out he muttered, "Felt right."

_**The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved**_

That was all. Stan didn't see Kyle again for a month. Just knowing he was there in town hurt more than knowing he was far away.

Stan couldn't and wouldn't stand to see Kyle again. Goddamn these confusing feelings. What if Kyle had a new super best friend that was better? Was his new super best friend more charming? Did he have perfect scores? Was he better at sports?

Worst, was he better at loving him?

_**I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone**_

_**You put your arms around me**_

_**And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...**_

Early in the morning, exactly one month since Kyle had come home, a knock was heard on the door. Stan, being home alone that morning, first thought it was a rapist or something.

He looked out the window and his heart jumped into his throat. Curly red head wearing a ushanka, oh who could it be? Stan got up and opened the door. Kyle looked with with a smile. Stan noticed a few freckles on the bridge of Kyle's nose.

Kyle blushed softly, "Hi... Can I come in?"

_**I hope that you see right through my walls**_  
_**I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling**_

the next thing that Stan knew that he was having a hardcore make out session with Kyle. Kyle was on his back, shirtless, and Stan was hovering over him. Stan made a few loves bites down his neck and chest. Kyle was a moaning mess.

Stan panted softly watching Kyle regain his breath. "Wow... That was a welcome back party."

_**I'll never let a love get so close**_  
_**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

Stan's face flushed softly and he nodded. "Y-Yeah..." He moved Kyle over and wrapped his arm around Kyle's waist.

Stan could admit Kyle changed a little since he'd left, he was a bit cheekier and damn, he could kiss better than he did in 9th grade. Wait, did that mean he had practice?

Stan bit his lip softly and hugged Kyle tighter because he could. and no one else could.

_**I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth**_  
_**And I've never opened up**_

_sometimes when Stan didn't understand why he felt weird around Kyle, he would make up excuses not to see Kyle. Most of their conversations went like:_

_"Sorry, Ky, my mom needs- uh- me to clean dishes and walk Sparky."-"Um, sorry Kyle my mom says I have to do it alone."-"yeah, Ky, I'll see you tomorrow, maybe." _

_when Stan was alone he tried to figure out his feelings with no straight answer. Then, he missed Kyle._

_**I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me**_

_at Kyle's fourteenth birthday party, it was an arcade. Cartman and Kenny were trying to beat a high score on a video game and Craig's game was playing a basketball game. _

_Kyle dragged Stan behind a Pac man machine and smiled at him. "What?" Stan asked, his face a little pink. _

_"Is it sad that I've never been kissed?" ((JUST PRETEND HE NEVER KISSED REBECCA)) Stan shrugged softly. "Everyone in our school's been kissed, even Cartman." Kyle laughed softly. _

_"Can we change that?" Kyle asked softly. "How?" Stan responded, even though he knew._

_Kyle leaned into Stan and his blush darkened. Stan filled in the space and kissed him._

_**And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**_

Kyle looked over at the clock and sighed softly. He entangled himself from Stan. He got up and kissed his forehead, putting his shirt back on. Stan was a little upset with that Kyle had to go.

_**I hope that you see right through my walls**_

_**I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling**_

_**I'll never let a love get so close**_

Every weekend, Kyle would go over Stan's house and they would get less and less shy. Clothes would be littered on the floor and moans would echo through the house. After, they would talk and kiss more.

Stan always loved Kyle's hugs for some reason.

_**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

After Stan hugged Kyle for the last time before he died in a car crash, he realized he loved Kyle's hugs because they made him feel like he was...

_**You put your arms around me and I'm**_

home

_** home**_

* * *

_**It gets sucky at the end because I was rushing, sorry. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY**_


End file.
